As the sun rises...

i wake up tired, though i slept through the night,

dragging my feet through the day like a fight.

books stacked like walls, numbers that blur,

i read the same pages, but don't know what occurred.

 

they say, “just try, just do your best”

but what if my best still isn’t enough ?

what if the weight i carry inside

makes even the smallest steps feel like a climb?

 

i fear their eyes, those kind, proud eyes,

what if one day they just see the lies?

the smile i wear, the "i'm fine" i say,

when i cry in silence at the end of the day.

 

i don't want pity, or a spotlight glow,

 just want someone to quietly know

that sometimes i'm drowning, though i stand tall,

and sometimes i break with no one to call.

 

my heart is loud, but my face is still,

i laugh too quick, but feel too real.

i'm scared to fall, scared to lose,

scared they'll say, “you had your chance to choose”

but i didn’t choose the fear, or the ache,

i didn’t ask for the nights i break.

 

i just want to be enough, that's all

enough to stand, not always crawl.

and maybe one day, without a disguise,

i'll lift my head and meet my own eyes.

but today, i'm quiet. i don’t need a crowd.

just some place to feel… without being loud.



-Angelica Dsouza. 


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